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Post by jeffdls on May 22, 2008 15:46:02 GMT -5
30. Use at least one painting by Gustave Dore for an album cover.
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grief
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Post by grief on May 23, 2008 19:21:48 GMT -5
31. Make sure you change line up a few times, split up, and re-unite with the original line-up
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Post by Todd on May 24, 2008 4:34:20 GMT -5
32. Unless you're in blooddrift, you're not allowed to release a CD that's disc face image has been done using "lightscribe".
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Post by The Centurion on May 24, 2008 7:46:59 GMT -5
33. NEver buy anything from Transfigural Form, Todd will just release it for free a few months later!
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Post by Todd on May 24, 2008 7:58:39 GMT -5
34. If Todd doesn't release something for free....tell him to and he most likely will.
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Post by exodus312 on May 24, 2008 22:14:54 GMT -5
35. We're not in this for the profit. (see rule 34)
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mordecaix7
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Post by mordecaix7 on May 25, 2008 2:32:08 GMT -5
36. At least one member of the band at all times wears your own band's t-shirt. Extra points for the shirt promoting your latest album.
37. Since you're not in this profit, it's perfectly acceptable to take "donations". Best done by placing an old pretzel bin with your band's name on it at the front of the stage.
38. The first show should always be at one of your band member's churches. Unless you play "that screamy devil music!" then get on the bill at a local bar opening for bands that obviously don't play christian metal to "maximize your ministry exposure"
39. Altar calls work at church which means they'll work at rock concerts.
40. Do not associate with Open Grave Records. Christian Mom's will cancel their kids order of your latest album as soon as she sees the site.
41. Compare the sound of your band to other secular bands that you sound nothing alike.
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Post by jeffdls on May 26, 2008 9:58:52 GMT -5
42. One band member must have a beat up old van that all the equipment is carried to and from gigs.
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grief
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Post by grief on May 26, 2008 17:33:57 GMT -5
43. Endtime Releases might be rare, it is your sole purpose in life to collect them all. 32. Unless you're in blooddrift, you're not allowed to release a CD that's disc face image has been done using "lightscribe". w00t ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) haha.
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Post by jeffdls on May 27, 2008 8:12:41 GMT -5
44. If you find out there's a secular band with the same name as your band, then add "Rising" to the end of your band's name.
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grief
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Post by grief on May 28, 2008 17:00:45 GMT -5
45. Make sure your vocalist doesn't stray away from faith. (see 44) ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Sutekh
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Post by Sutekh on May 29, 2008 5:19:32 GMT -5
46. Make one outstanding album and then split up. I could name names but we'd be here all day... ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by jeffdls on May 29, 2008 11:27:32 GMT -5
47. After splitting up, the vocalist must start another band in a totally different genre and claim that they'll never have a reunion
48. After several years after breaking up the band, have a reunion (see 47)
49. Send out a massive email stating that the old band is getting back together (see 47)
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grief
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Post by grief on May 30, 2008 17:34:54 GMT -5
50. Be sure to mention you're recording an album that will sound exactly like 'in the old days'
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Post by bleachedsorrow on May 30, 2008 21:04:54 GMT -5
51. If you find yourself on SolidState records you MUST have just one track on your record of nothing but ambient acoustic guitar or keyboards and ONLY that.
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Post by Todd on May 30, 2008 23:33:05 GMT -5
52. if keyboards don't work you must use a cello or violin. (see 51)
53. if neither acoustic guitar, keyboards, cello or violin are available you must then do some weird ambient/techno/trip hop/drum and bass loop based track.
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Post by zooba on May 31, 2008 1:21:21 GMT -5
54. You know you've made it when Terry Watkins (www.av1611.org) writes an article about how satanic you are and how evil your music sounds
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Post by jeffdls on Jun 2, 2008 15:33:42 GMT -5
55. Have at least one album produced by Terry Taylor.
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grief
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Post by grief on Jun 2, 2008 17:18:56 GMT -5
56. If you are a core band, say you started out as a death metal band, but changed styles without really paying attention to the styleshift. Suddenly is the keyword
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Post by jeffdls on Jun 3, 2008 8:44:58 GMT -5
57. Have Robert Sweet do drums on at least one of your albums.
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